As we grow older, our relationship with mom changes and grow. Insight Counseling psychotherapist Mary Morehouse explains that that’s perfectly normal.

When kids are young, moms have to take care of everything, however she says, “As kids get more independent, you have to step away. They can walk to the car themselves- that sort of thing. That continues to evolve.”

“There’s no magic formula. Every family is different,” Mary says that could mean some trial and error.

It’s also important for kids to know that ‘you can love your parent, even when you don’t like what they do.’ Managing boundaries like this are a key piece of any relationship.

If you want want to show mom you appreciate her this Mother’s Day, Mary recommends using kind words. She also tells the Lift, “Understanding that we as mothers, we do the best we can with the information that we have at the moment.”

The best gift could be to give grace and love this Mother’s Day.